I have mentioned it in private conversations before, but it’s also worth a note. Bad times are bad times. BUT, if you try to see the good things, the parts that push you into development (your only way should be ever forward!), there is always something to learn and to appreciate. It’s sad but true that we do learn a lot through painful experiences.
I have been in bad situations before in my life, nevertheless you never get used to “loosing ‘friends'”. Yes, double quotation mark here. Because the ones you loose, have never been there in the first place. They liked you for what you do or own, but not for what you ARE.
That being said, the last weeks & months have been quite interesting. The wheat and the chaff are separating. I could shed a tear, but I prefer to move on and take just the ones with me who are worth it. I was going through the same experience when I closed Atelier Abraxas in Leipzig a few years back. Suddenly I found myself with less “friends”. But apart from the initially painful experience, it’s a cleaning process, a process of stratification and knowledge.
If you are going through a hard time and a lot of changes, see the loss of humans around you as a chance for a brighter future. Do not hang on, don’t be desperate. Don’t try to fix things that can’t be fixed. Embrace the process of cleaning. Find out who your real friends are. And find potential real friends, humans, you maybe don’t know for a long time but who are willing to surprise you and to jump into the river with you.
I am hard to push to talk about love. But some few of you humans, I do love you, while I can only offer my disgust to the mainstream masses. But you, you are keeping me from being a complete misanthrope, living as an hermit, throwing dirt at those who pass by. There might be times when I appear cold, but you are the ones worth keeping up the flag in a world full of shit. This is a homage to you. I do love you.
Some of my original artworks (as well as some merch of course, including some handcrafted antler’s wheels and handpainted shirts) will be on tour with the “Rise of the Cosmic Fire” Tour with Naglfar, Schamasch & Anomalie, starting in three days in Prague. Sadly I will not be on the road with my work this time. I planned to attend at least the gig in my old hometown Hamburg, but for personal reasons this will also be impossible for me.
24.11.18 – Prague, Klub Nová Chmelnice
25.11.18 – Hamburg, Kulturpalast Hamburg
26.11.18 – Erfurt, Club From Hell
27.11.18 – Flensburg, Roxy Flensburg
28.11.18 – Copenhagen, Pumpehuset
29.11.18 – Oberhausen, Helvete Pub – Club – Live Stage
30.11.18 – Arnhem, Willemeen
01.12.18 – Aalst, Cinema
02.12.18 – Paris, LE GIBUS
03.12.18 – Colmar, Le Grillen
04.12.18 – Göttingen, Freihafen
05.12.18 – Mannheim, MS Connexion Complex
06.12.18 – Aarburg, Musigburg
07.12.18 – Milan, Slaughter Club
08.12.18 – San Dona Di Piave, Revolver
09.12.18 – Vienna, Viper Room Vienna
October 16th 2018 | 1’30am: Three hours until the nightliner that will pick me up for the Reflective Dimensions tour is supposed to arrive. Finished all packing just three hours ago. Usually I am even more last minute than this, I am almost proud of myself. Boxes in the stairway, half a “forest to go” on the terrace.
And the “magic suitcase”, a small suitcase with all kinds of items that one could need to improvise at an exhibition, from cable tie, knife & scissors to ducktape, glue & rope. It sounds actually like the contents of a kill bag and makes me wonder what the Swiss border patrol might have to say to it, they always liked to search through my stuff when I visited in the past. In my defense, the suitcase also contains a sketchbook, pens and pencils and some business cards. I’d be a bad killer if I leave the later behind. My personal luggage is minimized, I always prefer to travel light. Just a small backpack with most necessary clothes only, a notebook bag and a very small handbag that is actually my sponge bag. Sponge bag is a funny word by the way, the German word is “Kulturtasche”, translating to “culture bag”, which is funny as well. Culture definded by items to keep yourself clean. Obviously all the Brits need for this is a sponge.
After a short attempt of sleep I am discarding the idea, after all, none of my tour mates of the coming days is asleep now, the show is on the road already, kicking Dresden tonight, so why not jump into schedule right now. I have never slept in a bus before, so I am very curious about this experience. It will also be strange to be so close to a bunch of other humans for some days, none of them I have met in person so far. My imagination of a bus bathroom makes me cringe a bit, but I am comforting myself with the thought that a nightliner is not a public transport bus, I am totally convinced this will be great.
[Actually, this is were the tour diary ends already, before the tour even started. Everything else I have written a few days after the tour, back home. I simply missed the time on the road to keep up with my writing schedule…]
October 25th: Last Sunday afternoon I returned from a wild ride, the Reflective Dimensions Tour organized by QUANTHEON Touring. If you ever visited a show organized by them, you know these shows are quite different form the ususal gigs, with a very special flair, decoration and art attached.
I joined the tour the night before the Erfurt gig and entered the nightliner at 5am. It’s a strange feeling to start touring like this, when everyone is living in the bus since days already and you actually don’t know anyone personally, some internet contacts aside. Someone with a Scandinavian accent offered me wine upon entry, but I declined and went to bed, which felt like climbing into a shoebox. Luckily I am a small person, so I could stretch myself completely in it. Surprisingly I also got at least a bit of sleep before Erfurt. As most people were sleeping already when I entered the bus, apart from the two winedrinkers and the tour management, I got to meet the whole horde the next day, when we all woke up in Erfurt. But it was a good welcome and everyone made it easy for me to be “the tour newbie”. Special thanks to the frontman of Asphagor, who was the first one to talk to me and offered me a seat after I woke up.
My initial plan to write a tour diary was quickly abandoned. After two days I found myself responsible for the decoration part of the events, because we lost a tour member in Vienna. It turned out to be a lot of fun and everyone was content with my work, even me. The killbag came in handy for the job, too.
Usually, we arrived at some place to do immediate loading. I almost never left my bed much earlier, because sleep (or, if impossible, at least rest) is one of the three things I need on the road. The other two ones are food & beer and an occassional shower. Apart from that it makes me happy to have people with a brain around, even that wish was granted on this tour. From interesting to inspiring I have met a few great persons who I hope to see again some day.
When you wake up in a different location every day, the details quickly become blurry without notes, so I will not write about every event in epic lenght. I remember one night, after a gig, I only woke up half, with one foot still in a dream. I had no idea where I was, in which direction we were going or what had happened. I had to wake up completely to realize that I was in a nightliner with more than 20 people closely around. By the way, the bathroom of the bus stayed a place that I avoided as much as possible. It was not dirty like the ones in a public transport of course, nevertheless I did not feel comfortable squeezed into the plastic box while the bus was moving around.
While on the road, I got a message from home, telling me that when I return, I should make sure the nightliner will turn off its engine. Obviously my leave had awaken all the neighbourhood and there were some complaints. Dear (former) neighbourhood, I am very sorry I have disturbed you one time, after I have been silent about you mowing your lawn early mornings when I still sleep after a long work night, or doing construction work. One and a half years I swallowed down every complaint I could have had. But let me tell you one thing that I have learned from our very nice bus driver W. You can’t just turn the engine off in a nightliner at any given point of time. Because if you do, that thing might not start up again and would block your road for half an eternity. Did you ever leave your radio on in a car, or the lights, and wondered later, why your car won’t start? Well. A nightliner hosts more than 20 people, air condition, lights, electricity outlets. Do the math! Luckily I came home with a small private bus during daytime.
My special highlight location was definetely Stuttgart (Club Zentral), space, showers & the immensely good catering were perfect. And a friend who came to the show bringing some special beers for me made it even better. And thanks for helping me pack up in the end T., this way we had time to find out what a nightliner’s bar has to offer when all beers are gone. The evening was intense in many ways, including a breakdown in a street of someone who obviously should not smoke… things. But hey, no details, some things that happen on tour, stay on tour. But every location had something special or a special visitor, in Vienna I met my old friend Gerhard of Allerseelen, even if the visit was brief, it was good to see you again old mate! We also stopped in Innsbruck and Olten, the last location of the tour being a vast hall and a paradise for decoration. Not so much a paradise of catering though. It was the first night I went to bed very hungry and ate all my nut supply while half asleep already, that I had kept for exactly such a case. Oh, and before I forget, thank you staff of the Erfurt location From Hell for the nice extra drinks and for the attempt, to take me into town late at night for more, I would have followed your invite, but I had a date with a nightliner already.
All in all, I had a blast touring with this wild horde. It was a lot of work, yes, often under time pressure, but who knows me also knows that I like challenges. And there did not pass one day without special moments of happiness to be a part of this production. Musically, I liked all the bands a lot, I didn’t even get tired of watching the same shows (they are never really the same though) more than once. Totalselfhatred was a complete surprise for me, I didn’t know the band before the tour, I watched ALL their shows from beginning to end, because they are just so fukking good. Their music has become a work soundtrack of many nights since then.
Many many thanks to everyone involved to make this happen. Specially to Diana & Chris from QUANTHEON Touring who organized the whole thing. I’d share a bus with you again any time! And many thanks to Arroganz, for driving me home in the end.
The last few days my Ateliershop has seen a massive update with new items in all sections – and all items are shipping for free now. I also added a section with SPECIAL OFFERS, as I always need space in the studio for new creations, I am parting with a few old ones for special prizes. New as well are the sections Sculptures & Craftwork and Ritual Objects. The Handpainted Clothing section finally has a new shirt available “Circle of Cats“, a limited edition shirt that comes in two variations. I am currently working on some unique hoodies with different painted symbols that will be added within the next weeks. Please note, customized orders are always welcome! Just make sure you order in time, if you’re looking for holiday presents.
While I clearly can’t hide my joy about the summerly weather this fall, the everlasting discussion about global warming goes on. Inspired by a post amongst my facebook connections, here are my five cents on the subject.
Researching the net, you will find two major opinions telling you opposite things. While one party is convinced that the collapse due to global warming is close, the other will tell you that we are facing a small ice age very soon, due to the sun becoming less active. Both opinions show valid research behind it and it becomes almost impossible for the laymon to decide who is right. In the end, it becomes a question of faith.
I am not so much of a laymon speaking about this issues as you might expect me to be as an artist. Back in the days I studied geology and palaeontology – and everything related to the subject was of interest to me, from ocean science to meterology or even biology. You can not talk about meterology and the climate without talking about geology. Geology is a science based on the principle of uniformity. In other words, we observe a process and expect this process to follow its own rules every time when it happens. Meaning if we find marine formations from the past in a desert, we must conclude that there once was an ocean.
The historical geology of the earth clearly shows that the climate has never been stable on this planet. The mediterranean sea for instance was once dry. We find a lot of rocks from Scandinavia in Northern Germany, that have been transported by ice streams that once covered the areas. And the climate of Arctica was much warmer in the past without any coverage of ice. Those are only a few examples.
Now measured on a geological scale, the human “guest performance” on this planet is just a blink of the eye in the whole history of earth. Nevertheless, humans seem to have a great impact on this planet. Who doesn’t know the sketch of two planets meeting, one complaining about health issues, “I’ve got humans”, and the other comfortingly saying, “no worries, it will pass”. Humans are responsible for the demise of many species, pollution, the destruction of nature in general. While a species survives and evolves in developing new features and skills that allow a better adjustment then the previous design, humans try it other way round. They want to adjust nature instead of adjusting to it.
In my opinion, it is not important to know if global warming is a hoax theory or not. Same goes for the ice age theory. What we need to understand is the fact, that we are part of a dynamic system that we can not control. Geoengineering attempts that though, but is nothing more than a game with uncertain outcome.
After the volcanic eruption of Pinatubo in 1991, earth was facing what we call a volcanic winter. Due to the ashes and droplets of sulphuric acid that were blown out during the eruption and resulted in increasing the reflection of solar radiation, a reduction of global tempertures was caused. The Pinatubo is not a so-called supervolcano, although it resides quite high on the Volcanic Explosivity Index. But speaking about volcanoes, nature has some far more powerful weapons in stock. Looking at the Deccan Traps of West central India, we can get an idea about that.
Apart from my favourite geological subject, the gates to hell, nature has a whole arsenal of other possible scenarios in stock. Earthquakes, floods and pandemics, to just name a few. Now, why am I writing these things? Do I want to scare you, am I am scared? I am not and you shouldn’t be, too. Fear is not a healthy thing to cultivate. That is one more reason to get rid of your television actually, as fear is cultivated perfectly through the little box so many like to stare into.
But awareness of the fact, that the life in your current body, the life you know, is not endless is something to think about. Death is certain may sound scary to some, too, but actually the realisation of this fact is the one thing that gives worth to your life. If we would not die some day, what goals would be there to reach? Life would be worth nothing.
As my life in this body is limited, I long for quick changes. I want to see all this weapons nature has to offer in action. I applaude every catastrophe. Of course, with a tear in one eye, too. I am neither a rock nor a psychopath. But I do want mankind to finally develop and adapt to nature, not the other way round. Watching the stinking slow death of civilisation makes me sick. The masses who consume without thinking, who destroy our life basis out of pure greed, I have no sympathy for them. I know that a thunderstorm that would clear the air might cost the lifes of loved ones, too. Maybe even my own life. But if we die out, we earn it. Maybe not every single person, but as a human mass, we clearly do.
What is left to do? Enjoy your life. Question things. If we can not evolve as a species in this moment of time, evolve as a person. Be kind to yourself and to those who earn your kindness. Realise your potential. Don’t follow social expections. Be someone, who can welcome death one day, because you did it all. Don’t waste your time dreaming about what your life could be. Feast, fukk – and always fight for your freedom!
And don’t forget to enjoy the October sun.
This piece is probably the one that received the most attention from the audience over the years and raised the most questions. The original was only exhibited twice, the artprint version much more often and even made it to the USA. You can find some thoughts about “Submission” as well in last year’s printed edition of Pfingstgeflüster (in German language), the author quite obviously visited the exhibition in Leipzig during Wave Gotik Treffen 2017. The original is NOT FOR SALE, it is only possible to buy a limited edition print (only 23 available).
I will for sure not explain the image itself to you, hell no, but answer the constant question of how it was done technically. This work is an overpainted collage, based on my own photographs. The original photographs also appeared as black & white images in my book release “Sintra” in 2005, which is long out of print. The photographs were cut apart and re-assembled to something completely new and then overpainted in a complete layer. The overpaint consists of acrylic paint and some blood. Yes, it’s my own blood. You can see some details in the images below. The frame is an antique original, dating back to around 1900.
A while back I revisited Sintra (Portugal) in company of two friends. Apart from the typical sightseeing plans, we had also planned another kind of journey, a psychedelic trip in the company of Alice, within the setting of the lovely mountains of the Sintra range. Our first idea, to do this in the night within one of the parks of Sintra was shattered when we watched the security marching in – and we delayed the journey for one day. Instead I used the evening to successfully cure one of my friends from her arachnophobia, as it seemed crazy to me to take her into the forest in company of Alice with this fear.
We spent the whole next day outside in the mountains until dust. The journey was very intense, as expected, and left all participants in a rapturous state of mind, when we slowly descended back to our temporary home chalet while it slowly got dark.
[A few days prior to our journey, still in Leipzig, my mobile phone broke. I hate buying new phones, but looking through the offers a special phone caught my attention, with a build-in-camera and a real lens. It was not available in the local shop, but the shop owner promised me it would arrive before the travel. It did, but very very last minute. I had to catch a cab to the airport and stop over at the shop, run in and out to get to my flight in time – with the new phone…]
As I was not going to drag my camera equipment with me on a psychedelic journey, I intended to shoot images with the new device, which showed indeed a very decent image quality. Of course, I did not do the shooting before Alice calmed down again, otherwise it would have been impossible to handle the camera. But I still had visual effects looking around and all the small details of the forest floor caught my attention. The colors were far more intense than usual and everything seemed to have a metallic shimmer. Later, when I processed the images, I tried to bring back those visual perceptions Alice gave me, and I am quite content with the results.
To enhance the effect, resulting images have been printed on metallic or (depending on the size) high gloss photo paper. Of course, this doesn’t really come out on this web versions. Prints are available on request, please contact me via email or the Ateliershop if you’re interested to have these on your walls. They are available in different sizes, up to 45x45cm per piece.
(If this article confuses you, you might want to look up the different meanings of “Alice”. I think many people would have added a disclaimer, saying something like “Don’t do this…”, but I strongly believe in everyone being resposible for him/herself.)
My works will participate in the Reflective Dimensions Tour with Agrypnie, Totalselfhatred, Arroganz & Aspagor, organized by Quantheon Touring in October 2018. For this occasion you can also find a very recent interview with me on the Quantheon homepage, following this link or click on the image below.
Tourdates: Erfurt (16.10.), Vienna (17.10.), Innsbruck (18.10.), Stuttgart (19.10) and Olten, Switzerland (20.10.).
“With her exclusive exhibition ”MIRRORS’ exceptional artist LAETITIA MANTIS will invite you into another world. Your own. This assemblage of her works will make you look into the black mirror of your soul, will reflect your own self. Her art is known to speak for itself, to open a door to an inner world not made for words but to be experienced, seen, and felt. Hence, more words are futile. Come along, and open the door if you dare. Experience for your-self.”